


What happens on a drunken night, stays there

by oddball



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Drunkenness, Humor, M/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2013-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 21:35:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1061913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddball/pseuds/oddball
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akashi allows Kise and the miracles to plan his bachelor-party, so Kise goes out on a whim and invites a lot of his former comrades and acquaintances. Rest assured, he makes sure not one person remains sober by night. What follows is plain simple drunken nonsense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What happens on a drunken night, stays there

1.

Nobody would've taken Kise's messages seriously if it didn't have the "Akashichi's" tag attached. Despite it being a while since they passed out of school, most were in college, some working, still, that name drove shivers down their spines. "Hello all!! I miss you all so much! Aominecchi does too!! :* :* okay getting to the point, Akashichi is getting married as we all know, and it's our job to throw him a bachelor party! I already ran the idea by him so he won't kill us ^_^ please be there at the date and time I inform you soon!! Can't wait to see you all! Love,Kise!"

"The fuck, Kise! Do you have to seem so excited!" Aomine growled.

"Yes!! We're all 23 now and the first of us is getting married! Be happy -minecchi!" (Kise)

Aomine scowled a little. He never understood why Kise had this desperate urge to do things like this. This one thing despite living together for years now, made Aomine wonder. But he could never be the one to dampen his spirit. After all it was that radiance that caught his eye from day one.

"Fine. But let's just keep it simple" (Aomine)

"yup! I've only sent out 20 odd invites" (Kise)

"20! Does Akashi even know 20 people?!" (Aomine)

"Well, Seirin team coz of Kagamicchi and Kurokocchi and Touou because of you and..." (Kise)

"Akashi doesn't know half of those people!" (Aomine)

"But they all would never forget him once they've played him. Plus Akashichi said now, comrades of comrades are okay with him. He's making amends" (Kise)

"I have a bad feeling already" (Aomine)

"Oh Aominecchi, you worry too much! It'll be fun!" (Kise)

Kise said grinning. Aomine smiled at the goof ball but knew that nothing good comes out of Kise Ryouta's idea of fun!

2.

Midorima frowned at Kise's message. He immediately texted Akashi wanting to know how legit this was.

Akashi's reply was rather precise "Yes I allowed Ryouta to plan it"

Midorima dare not ask why but he sure did want to. He tried to squiggle out of it by texting about his med-exams which were a month away. Momentarily, he forgot that Akashi knows everything. He merely got a curt "come" reply. That ended what little scope Midorima had to escape this. Midorima drafted another short message- Takao. I need you to drive me someplace next week.  
\--

Kagami laughed as he and Kuroko read their messages out. Although they didn't live together, they made it a point to meet every other day to practice. Kagami was focusing on his basketball career and Kuroko obviously was there to help.

"Hah! Kise is going to get killed for this. Anyway I'm not going for this" Kagami bellowed

Kuroko mildly straightened up as he said "Kagami-kun, you must. Akashi-kun won't appreciate it"

"like I car..ouch! Hey! Why'd you hit me?!" Kagami said rubbing his head

"You must come Kagami-kun" Kuroko said sternly. You dont just say no to Akashi-related-events.

"fine! But only for a bit! It'll be boring anyway"

Kuroko agreed while Kagami grumpily texted an RSVP.

\--  
Murasakibara chomped away in the middle of his catering class while browsing his texts.

"Ahh. Akachin's party. Ki-chin is planning it. Yawn. But it'll have cake. So I'll go. And Akachin called so..."

Murasakibara had less heart-ache considering his loyalty to Akashi and of course the all alluring presence of cake.

3.

The day had finally arrived. Kise had asked the generation gang to show up a little earlier to help him set things up. Not that they listened but nonetheless, they said they would try. The door bell rang and Kise yelled out to Aomine to answer. Aomine looking dapper in a suit, growled a little, but by now used to Kise's insistence on looking the best hence taking longer than most guys to dress. But having said that, he was always surprised at the result and how Kise managed to look so fucking handsome every time! He opened the door to see Kagami and Kuroko. He slapped a five at Kuroko and grunted at Kagami.

"Hello Aomine-kun long time" the teal haired boy said softly.

"Tetsu! What's been up? Is it me or do you seem taller?" Aomine joked.

Kuroko elbowed the tan-skinned suited man as he laughed.

Aomine turned his attention to the strangely sophisticated looking red-hair, who couldn't have grown taller, but seemed to have matured. "And you, Baka"

So much for greeting the mature young man. Kagami reciprocated the love "to you too! Shithead"

Kuroko sighed. It hadn't been ten minutes and they had already set off to a marvelous start. While Kagami and Aomine continued to rant about who's a bigger Jordan fan and if either Bryant or LeBron James have it in them to de-throne the greats, Kuroko sank softly into the couch. He almost got comfortable when he was run over by a blond in a spectacular looking black suit

"Kurokocchi you came!!!" Kise said hugging the shorter lad.

"Kise-kun, lively as ever" Kuroko said, not quite startled by the adulation he always got.

Kise left Kuroko and smiled

"Kagamicchi! How have you been!" (kise)

"Good to see you Kise. Luckily this idiot hasn't rubbed off on you" (kagami)

Aomine almost punched Kagami as he said that, while Kise sighed.

"So how are things Kurokocchi?" (kise)

"Good. I've been a coach for children at a middle-school and younger" (kuroko)

"That's great! I've been great too! Basketball is great, I've also..." Kise was abruptly cut.

"I'm sorry Kise kun I didn't ask" Kuroko said nonchalantly, leading the rest to smile.

"So mean Kurokocchi!" Kise pretended to sob a little.

As they continued to catch up, the bell rang again. Kise opened to see a green haired man with a black haired short man panting and puffing behind him.

"Midorimacchi. Please tell me you didn't make Takao ride that bullshit again."Kise said sweetly but dripping in sarcasm.

Midorima almost snorted like it was something obvious "Fool. I didn't use the hand cart today"

"He used a bloody weird wheel barrow!" said Takao looking genuinely distressed.

"Takao-kun why do you agree?" Kise said looking genuinely puzzled.

"For old times' sake! And I thought finally he wouldn't believe in that ohsa crap but his raccoon just looks bigger" Takao said finally sprucing up his suit.

Kise grinned innocently as the two walked in.

4.

Soon to join in were Kasamatsu, Hyuuga, Izuki and Sakurai. Imayoshi was supposedly busy. People were gathering around, catching up as Imayoshi entered.

"You were busy right?" Asked a suspicious Hyuuga.

"Oh yes. I ditched that event. You guys are fun" Imayoshi said grinning as always.

Hyuuga flinched a little, Imayoshi had that effect on people. As he entered, Kise ran upto him and nearly stole him aside. Aomine casually joined in as they spoke.

"Imayoshi-San, I need you to help me get people drunk" Kise said softly.

"What makes you think I can do that?" the grinning ex-captain asked.

"Cause you're an asshole that way" said Aomine blandly.

"Ah! Aomine, bland as always" said Imayoshi shaking his uneven black hair over his spectacles.

"Look, you're a mind fuck. So go do your thing" Aomine said, assuming it was some form of a compliment.

"Even before the big boy enters?" Imayoshi grinned

"no no! After I propose a toast to Akashichi, I'll have the drink passed around. It's the Kise-special!" Kise said with great pride. He flicked his hair and threw a magnetic smile.

Aomine sighed loudly knowing this was suicidal keeping Akashi in mind. But deep inside even he wanted to see the emperor off his high-horse.

"Alright. But I hope you two don't mind being the ones to watch, you can't-keep-hands-off-duo"

Aomine and Kise nearly dropped to the floor in embarrassment. That Imayoshi.

Everyone waited expectantly for Akashi while suddenly Midorima remarked

"Where's Murasakibara?"

"Oh! He said he'll be here" Kise said looking a little saddened.

"It's Akashi's party. Him missing it is rare"

Soon the bell rang disrupting Midorima's thought. Kise opened gushing at first then sobered a little

"Everyone! The guest of honour is here!"

4.

All eyes turned to Akashi who genuinely looked like a million bucks! White suit, purple tie and impeccable shoes.

Kise clung a wine glass with a spoon "Attention everyone! Today is in celebration for..."

"Ryouta let Shintarou make the toast" Akashi said in his naturally aristocratic tone.

Kise wanted to complain but he didn't dare. Midorima shuffled his spectacles, took the glass and raised it like he regularly shot. Everyone ducked, some even screamed bloody murder (some meaning mostly Sakurai)

"Fools. I raise a toast to Akashi. May fate be with him and he never taste defeat...again"

Everyone raised their glass to Midorima's curt toast. Akashi looked at the glass and....downed it. The remaining faces gulped as they would have to do the same. Kise's eyes gleamed seeing that. Everyone took the unnaturally large shot. Kise wasnt exactly known to be discreet.Nonetheless, drinks were being served around.

"Kuroko, help yourself to one more. I'll serve you. It's not like you can disappear before my eyes you know" Imayoshi said in a syrupy voice.

Kuroko plainly looked at Imayoshi. He wasn't wrong actually but Kuroko politely turned him down. Imayoshi faked a disappointed look and said  
"Alright. But remember, it'll be fun to see the phantom sixth letting his hair down, considering how miserable your bed-head is"

"I've heard that Cancerians can't hold their drink, Oha-asa says othwerwise. Whose right Midorima?" the grinning ex-Touou captain teased.

Midorima frowned and drank a little more. Imayoshi meticulously messed with people's head. And before you knew it, everyone's glasses were swaying. All but Kise. He even managed to get Aomine drunk. Not the toughest of tasks though. Suddenly a voice said "Ryouta. I know what you're thinking....." Kise's hand trembled as Akashi came near. "I'm not getting drunk......."

Kise stifled his laughter as he said "Akashichi, that's Aomine.."

"Shut the fuck up Ryouta!" Akashi said now wobbling.

Kise's eyes danced. His shot was already working!

"Kise...you sexy thing" Aomine said as he grabbed him and kissed him right there.

Everyone looked shocked in a drunk stupor until Izuki went "fuck! Aces' in action! Wooohooo"

Kise pulled back blushing a little. "Aominecchi.." he blushed

"Call me Daiki, stupid" Aomine said landing a hug on Kise.

"They're so fucking cute!" Izuki yelled again.

"Abso-fucking-lute!" said Takao loudly. Takao turned to Izuki and croaked "Come here bro, us birdies ought to stick to each other!"

Izuki ran across the room and hugged Takao. Kise laughed hard as Imayoshi crept near him and asked "Say, what's the Kise special?"

Kise raised his eyebrow in pride as he spoke of his down-right wrong bar-tending skills."I wouldn't tell but since you helped me, it's quarter-quarter shot of vodka, rum, whiskey and scotch mixed with diet coke and sugar"

"Oh! That's nasty!" What Imayoshi really wanted to say was "hehe! This is going to fuck them over"

"Coming from you that's something Imayoshi-San" Kise said with a menace in his eyes.

"Hehe! Say, here's a rum-coke for you. You deserve it for hosting this so well" said Imayoshi handing Kise a black drink.

"Of course" Kise gulped it and hopped along.  
Two drinks later, the happiest version of Kise showed up almost gliding across the floor "Imayoshichi, you tricked me!"

"like you wanted to be sober" He replied with no remorse.

"Not at alllllll!!" Kise said in an unimaginable glee.

Imayoshi sighed "he's as annoying drunk as normal"

"Come on everyone let's play karaoke!!' Kise announced.

It was after all his favourite thing to do-drunk or otherwise. Aomine shot up his hand to go first. Akashi flung him aside and grabbed the mic. Akashi looked around spying for a volunteer or rather victim to do a duet with him. Everyone shuddered to imagine what would happen lest they fail.

"I'll do it!" Midorima yelled rather loudly. Akashi smiled. It had to be his favorite shogi partner of course.

"I'll pick your song" Kuroko said.

He pressed the button to a song which made Midorima frown and Akashi giggle and everyone else gasp. 'sexy back'

"there's not much singing in this" Midorima said seeming almost not-drunk(trying to hold his drink)

"Then dance Shintarou, I'll sing" Akashi said, with his evil cold sloshed look, scarring people's minds.

Midorima protested loudly but Akashi didnt budge. Finally Kuroko mumbled "Midorima-kun is afraid of making a jackass of himself"

"woah! Kuroko's killing it!" the crowd chimed.

Midorima humphed and made it to the centre of the room and turned back. The minute it said 'i'm bringing sexy back' Midorima flicked his hair back and then did a pelvic thrust! He was amazing! Kise couldnt help himself as he dived into dance with a belt as he mouthed 'I'll let you whip me if I misbehave' the crowd was in splits!

5.

"These guys are nuts!" said Hyuuga tossing a ping-pong ball into the beer glass

"Fuck you" said Sakurai as he made his 'shot' too!

"what did you say you mushroom?!" Hyuuga said tossing another ball in the glass, while chugging a beer pint down. Sakurai trembled a little as Hyuuga closed in but suddenly said "i'm not sorry! fuck you!"

Hyuuga burst into fits of laughter and fell down laughing. Sakurai kept flinging balls into the beer glass and drinking.

"talk about nuts. look at those 3-pointers" Izuki said to Takao. Takao hugged him a little more and nodded. Izuki was too gone to protest.

"look at him go" Takao thought silently.

6.

"look at him go!" Aomine yelled loudly. "that's my man you fuckers!" he continued, pointing to Kise.

"yeah you got lucky bitch" Kasamatsu said angrily.

"what the fuck!" Aomine growled at the sudden offense

"yeah Aho-mine! He deserves better!" yelled Kasamatsu barely stringing words now.

"like the sadis..you know the word, dude who beats him around?!"Aomine spat out

"the fuck! Atleast I'm not self obsessed like you- only one who can beat me is me" Kasamatsu said mimicking Aomine in a weird voice

"fuck yourself" Aomine said running out of words

"you should be doing that since you're such a dumbass!" Kasamatsu said, not bothering that it was probably the stupidest come-back since Marie Antoinette's 'let them have cake'

Suddenly everyone heard a loud wail "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! they're fighting over Kise and nobody loves me! I'm a lonely tiger!" It was Kagami who was very quiet until now.

"why the hell is he crying" asked Imayoshi

"He gets annoying and whiny when he's drunk" Hyuuga said out of experience.

"Cranky, feeling dumped and whiny" Kuroko repeated

"like Kise!" said Aomine and Kasamatsu in a synchronized voice.

"aieee! no! go back to loving me!" Kise jumped a little more.

"yo, you wanna take this outside, Aomine?" Kasamatsu said, after being momentarily distracted by an emotional Kagami.

"yeah" Aomine said feeling a relief stepping out.

They both stepped to the balcony, wobbling.

And finally Kasamatsu seeming sober went silent.

"Take care of our little baby!! We kicked him around cause he's so adorable! He's Kaijou's kid!" said Kasamatsu suddenly almost tearing up.

"You got it bro! And I know right! so adorable to kick around! I'll break his bones, but I wont break his heart!" Aomine said wiping his tears.

They collapsed into a hug. Kise came running and hugged them both "I love you two!" but effectively got kicked by both of them.

"Seeeee?! everybody loves Kise! nobody loves Kagami!" Kagami wailed.

The whiny Kagami was sadly, hilarious. The spotlight shone on him until they heard "since you've been gone! I can breathe for the first time! I'm so moving on, yeah, yeah, thanks to you, now i'm gay....no that's not right" loudly on the karaoke, perfect pitch.  
It was Akashi!

"Tetsuya! sing with me!" he said almost excitedly

Kuroko agreed and both of them sang to perfection.

"He's getting married and he's hitting on Kuroko?" Hyuuga wondered. "these miracles are weird"

Everyone cheered except...

"Waaaah! I miss Tatsuya! and Alex and nigou!" Kagami said really whining when he's drunk.

"Kagami. That's not true. People do love you. Let me tell you something" Kuroko said and leaned softly towards Kagami.

He went near his as to whisper something and ...made a loud farting sound. The entire room burst into fits. So Kuroko was an obnoxious brat drunk. Sweet.

Kagami puffed like a balloon and screamed "so mean!"

"Hey that's my line!" Kise said flailing his hand of the floor.

Everyone thought the drama receded when suddenly Takao started to wail. "He never sees me! whatever I do! it's almost nothing!!"

"Who?" Izuki asked

"Shin-chan!! waaahhh" Takao cried.

It almost felt like a over-whelming confession, which has served years inside his heart.The room fell silent a little and some even pouted sadness. Midorima walked towards Takao and said "fool. who do you think that dance was for?"

Before Takao could exactly react properly to Midorima's sudden declaration, in one swift motion, Midorima picked Takao up, strung him by the shoulder and walked to the empty room inside. The door shut behind. Everyone was shocked to the soul. This was drunk Midorima to the brim!

"woohoo! Midorimacchi!" said Kise breaking the silence and a cheer erupted from the audience too.

"Say, that was kinda hot, no Aominecchi?" Kise said naughtily.

Aomine looked at him and hugged Kise tightly. Kise instead of being surprised, hugged him back. Aomine turned to see Kasamatsu signal "I'm watching you"

"I'll take you on later, Kise" Aomine thought evilly.

7.

"Even stupid four-eye raccoon collector found love! Nobody loves me, even the one who I've been pining after for so long now. What's the use of those light-shadow gay euphemisms!" Kagami cried.

Kise aptly tried to change the karaoke song to 'can you feel the love tonight' but Aomine stopped him. Confessions a-galore it seemed.

Kuroko finally walked up to him and everyone expected another prank but he went on one knee and said "Taiga Kagami, marry me"

The hall fell silent and Kagami gasped and panicked. "Kuroko, is this another prank?"

"Do I look like I'm not serious?" said the blue-haired, innocent but drowsy eyed Kuroko

"I dont know, I mean..ummmm" Kagami said in whatever sensible way he could handle this sudden turn of events.

"Oh just say yes Kagami!" someone yelled.

"umm...yes."Kagami managed to spurt.

"woo!!! Kiss! kiss!" the crowd chanted.

Kagami blushed a little and denied it, but Kuroko grabbed him by his neck and kissed him hard! The audience clapped and cheered, watching Kuroko turn on this new vibe. As the newly announced couple held hands, some even managed to squeeze a tear. All barring one.

"Kagami taiga, you not only stole my thunder, but also my most precious miracle!" said a wild Akashi

"I'm going to fucking kill you!" Akashi said as he leapt on Kagami from the sofa and jumped on his back like a wild cat!

Everyone ran to Kagami's aid as Imayoshi and Sakurai stood behind.

"I'm glad I missed that event for this, what's say Sakurai?" Imayoshi said almost laughing.

Sakurai nodded until he fell down and passed out. In this commotion very few heard the bell ring. Kise ran to open the door (tripping a little)

"oh the cake is here!" he chimed.

A large box entered and a life-size cake was within.

"everyone, this in celebration for Akashichi who maybe a little busy" Kise said. Akashi watched perched on Kagami's shoulder as Kise opened the box.

"on the count of three...one, two.." before Kise could say three, a tall figure burst out of the cake, party hat on the head and candies in hand.

"Murasakibara in the cake?!" everyone exclaimed.

"Kise how did you...?"Aomine asked.

"Easy, bribed him with cart load of candy!" Kise said happily.

Akashi looked carefully at Murasakibara who said "congrats Akachin"

Akashi tip-toed near Kise as everyone felt like this was the blonde's end. Kise held his breath until Akashi screamed "this is the best ever!!"

Akashi yelled and jumped on Murasakibara. "Yay! Atsushi!" Murasakibara smiled a little.

Imayoshi grinned as the night set and people began to pass out asleep. "What a bunch of miracles"

 

next day.

"Momoi-san, what a surpise! I never thought you'd call me after high school" (Imayoshi)

"Imayoshi-san! Hello! have you heard from any of the boys? I've been trying their numbers, all of them are asleep" (momoi)

"ah yes! they had a field day last night" (Imayoshi)

"really? What did I miss?" Momoi asked innocently.

"nothing much. Akashi-san had a cat-fight with Kagami over Kuroko, Kuroko proposed to Kagami, he said yes. Kasamatsu asked Aomine to look after Kise, Aomine became emo. Sakurai and Hyuuga passed out. Midorima and Takao did it and Murasakibara jumped out of a cake...hello. Momoi-san, are you still there?" He said mischievously

"Uh, yes, but..are you serious?"asked a very obviously shocked Momoi

"hehe. Momoi-san you know me better than that now. Do you think I'm sincere?" he chided.

"hehe. Yes of course. Anyway ask Dai-chan to call me later!" Momoi cut the conversation short.

Imayoshi chuckled after keeping the phone and leaving Momoi perplexed. He grinned "after all, what happens at a bachelor-party stays there, no?"

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you'll have fun reading this! :)


End file.
